“Can we pretend that airplanes in the sky are like shootings stars? I could really use a wish right now.” Airplane (B.O.B)
The only worthwhile part of the whole song, but yet its like its singing to the recesses of my unwell soul. Today was horrible, I’ve been crying on and off all day. I was ill with fury at God. Yeah I know its not right, but when he allows me to face a nightmare its hard not too. Even if in my fury I held my tattered red book of mormon and prayed. This whole past month I’ve been upset about God seeming to tear the only person that actually knows me away. I feel trapped. I’m weighed down by this stupid town. I’m so sick of drama and all my friends dancing around my life in cycles, in and out in as much as I cant trust any of them. My family is impossible.
I wish I could go with them. Have my new start in a place where I’d find a fit. No one will have anything previous to view me from. I can start over and force myself to trust those who become my friends. Instead of making up excuses to shut everyone out. I could forget all my mistakes and leave fear behind. I wouldn’t have to worry about loosing my best friend.
Its taking alot to get through the pain that the actions of others are causing me to feel. I have to be here with no best friend and it makes me sick. I would give almost anything to be free.
So yes lets pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars…
